A Love Story That Will Blow Your Mind
Interracial/Intercultural Marriage: African-American Man And Indian Woman
How We Met
Lata and I met on Sunday, June 30, 1991. In fact, the 63091 in my online names represents the day that we met. I had just graduated, and my church had taken me out to eat at a restaurant which was also Lata’s place of employment. It was Lata’s first day on the job that day. SHE WAS GORGEOUS! My entire church had come in, so instead of training her they decided to sit her down until “the rush was over.”
While she was sitting there, I wanted to talk to her, but I was scared. So I sent my friend to ask her for a few things: straws, spoons, extra napkins, etc. She was more annoyed than amused because she didn’t know where anything was. Finally, I asked my friend to ask her for her phone number. She sent back her answer… NO! I was devastated, embarrassed, and humiliated, but I managed to eat LOL! After everyone ate we all filed out of the restaurant. And just before, I left, I walked past her, and she said that she would take MY NUMBER! I was geeked, so I gave it to her, and I walked out of the restaurant so happy. A few days later she called, and we arranged our 1st meeting. After that… “It. Was. A. Wrap”/we were together.
How Long Have We Been Together
This coming, June 30, 2018, we will be together for 27 years.
The Challenges We Faced Head On
“We Don’t Do This…” –Lata Was Being Taken Back To India
Lata Already Has A Husband Chosen For Her…So It Is Us Or Him
Lata’s Family Vanished
What Carl’s Parents Thought Of Lata
Top Tips To An Interracial/Intercultural Relationship
2.) Carl states-there will be culture clashes. But understand why you were born on two different hemispheres and/or have two different family ways of doing things/thinking.
3.) Lata remarks-to start your relationship as friends, as your foundation, and stay focused on what you fell in love with during your courtship.
3.) Carl explains- there will be a myriad of divergent relational challenges. But understand why-Lata’s dad had passed when she was around 10. My parents had divorced when I was 10. If our relationship was going to be successful, then we had to forge our own destinies.
Lata and I have four boys. For us, combining cultures for the benefit of your children is easily done only after you have fully embraced each other’s cultures. When I was dating Lata, I would spend hours in the encyclopedia studying India. She was the first Indian person that I had met in my life. She was the first exposure that I had to Indian: music, food, people, clothing, and language(s), etc.
Additionally, both cultures must be acknowledged and celebrated, but not one amplified over the other. Lata had embraced Christianity; although, she was born and raised Hindu. After her father passed, they would attend Hindu temples less and less. I was born and raised in the church, and I have been a “church boy” all of my life. Lata says this gave me an advantage because we both have very similar values on life and even love. Themes such as purity and righteousness were themes that we had embraced through different religions, but once we had children, we could both model and teach our children together. And eventually, Lata’s mom converted to Christianity as well…
Lastly, we are intentional in making sure that Indian movies and music was/is played in the house. And we remind the boys that they have two different bloodlines and cultures within them.
Our Must-Know Parenting Tips
2.) Carl and Lata both advise to begin and keep your own family traditions.
3.) Carl adds as it relates to raising multicultural children, it may not be all bad that they see you struggle and disagree, as well as, make-up and keep loving one another. It does take a village to raise children. Lata and I have two different sets of children (23, 19, 11, and 6…we tried to get a girl, lol!) And the beauty in that, today, is that we can speak with our older sons like young men, and be very transparent. They have seen and heard a lot from us and life. Looking at us and looking out into the world that they live in can lend a compass for where they will seek their own life’s directions. The second set will be that much easier to rear because they have, not only their parents but their older brothers from which to form and embrace their own family values.Wow! What a compelling and mind-blowing love story. Thank you, Carl and Lata, for sharing your love story filled with a rollercoaster of raw emotions and priceless parenting tips! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding anniversary of 27 years! How phenomenal is that!
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