Multicultural Resources Parenting The Art of Interracial Marriage

Made For Each Other

       

Made For Each Other

Interracial And Intercultural Marriage: Indian Woman And Jamaican Man

About

Meet Tejal and Anthony. Tejal is Indian, and she was born in Canada.  Her family moved to the UK when she was a toddler.  Her husband, Anthony, is Jamaican. He was born and raised in South London.

How They Met

Anthony and Tejal both worked at Boots in Liverpool Street Station while they were at University. Tejal was on the makeup counter, working for Estee Lauder, and Anthony was in the photo lab. Tejal liked Anthony, but she knew that he would never make the first move, nor would she customarily.  She realized that as an Indian woman, Anthony would not go there, and so she figured he needed a little nudge. Therefore she told someone at work, who was a notorious gossiper, that she thought Anthony was cute.  Inevitably fate ran its course, and they are now married with two beautiful children.

How Long They Have Been Together

They have been together since 2008.  Anthony and Tejal got engaged in 2013, married in 2014, and had their children in 2017 and 2019. They have had many ups and downs, but they have grown together.  Genuinely, they would not know what to do without each other. They are like yin and yang, they have different personalities, but together they create a whole and balanced energy. They don’t have to try with each other.  Instead, it is natural and easy, exactly what they imagined marrying their soulmate would be.

How Was Meeting Each Other’s Parents For The First Time

Tejal was fully accepted into Anthony’s family.  However, there was some concern as to whether Anthony would be accepted into her family.

What Difficult Situations Have They Encountered For Being In An Interracial And Intercultural Relationship And How Do They Deal With Them

They didn’t experience any real obstacles at the start.   However, racism and people’s real feelings recently became more apparent.  And this is after twelve years of being together and almost six years of marriage.
Right now, what has been difficult for them is people’s reactions to them.  People stare when they are out and about. Some of them try to jump over furniture to get a good look at their children.  And others quite obviously get their friends’ attention so they can continue to stare and talk about them.  Frankly, they don’t know what they are saying, and they don’t assume that it is negative, but if you catch them on a bad day they will say something.
Overall, Anthony and Tejal deal with any situations they encounter by standing united, moving on, and not dwelling on things.  They believe that as long as their home is happy, then they are fulfilled.  Everything else is just noise.   Racism and judgments are more a reflection of the person/people making them.

Wedding Tips They Wish They Knew Beforehand

When it comes to weddings, they believe that you should make the day about you and celebrating your union. They made a lot of people mad because they only invited those that had continuously been in their lives. They didn’t want each other to meet people for the first time at their weddings but this is not always possible when you are Indian/South Asian. Their biggest tip is to get a good photographer and videographer. They didn’t, and it is something that they deeply regret.

Advice To An Interracial And Intercultural Marriage

Make sure the person you are with has the same/similar values and principles as you. Because without a solid foundation, you will have difficulty creating anything of value. If you have this, you can literally get through anything life throws at you.  Furthermore, it is important to discuss non-negotiables in a relationship at the start so you can see if your views align. Anthony and Tejal  have never really had any disagreements, thankfully but the one thing that is difficult is their traditions at the end of life. Tejal cannot ever imagine being buried and Anthony cannot think of anything worse than being cremated (unfortunately Covid-19 has had them talking about all sorts of things).

How They Are Raising Their Children To Celebrate Their Cultures

Their children are something that they have had long discussions about. They know that when it comes to filling out those equal opportunity questionnaires, their children will have to tick the ‘other’ box. Therefore they want to make sure that they never feel a ‘other’ or like they do not belong to one culture or the other. Additionally, they will raise them to know that they are unique and that is what makes them great. Also, they don’t necessarily want to focus on the cultural/religious aspect but to focus on raising them as good, kind, honest human beings who believe in themselves and know that their color, ethnicity or racial background does not define them.  Furthermore, they will expose them to both of their cultures, of course, but they get to choose what is and is not for them.  Lastly, Anthony and Tejal love this growing community that seems to be forming between other Black/South Asian couples as it will be nice for their children to see other families like theirs.

Anything Else They Want To Share To Help Others Reading This

If you are struggling because your parents do not agree with your choice of partner and things are difficult, trust yourself and trust your choice. If you both decide that each other is worth the backlash you may receive then go for it. It will make you stronger and you will both grow together. People fear what other people will say about them if their son/daughter marries outside their race but the truth is that people will talk about whatever you do.

What did you think of Anthony and Tejal’s love story? Thank you both for sharing your encouraging and charming love story with us and advice for other families.

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1 Comment

  1. it is right Made For Each Other

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