An Anonymous Reader Shares All

I’m A South Indian Woman Married To A North Indian Man…

Introduction

Dear Growing up Gupta,
I love your blog! I’m a South Indian woman married to a North Indian man (we are both the first generation from India). My husband is an entrepreneur in the U.S, and I am currently a graduate student in the U.S. We met at a dance club, sparks flew, and the rest is history.

We Come From Different Castes

It is not often talked about (very hush, hush) but we deal with many of the same issues that intercultural couples do when we come from different castes. I am from a different caste than my now husband. His family’s native tongue is Hindi and mine is Gujarati. Hence the road to marriage has been difficult for my husband and I. His family did not want us to get married, and they did not make it easy for us to do so either.

Living With My In-Laws

Additionally, now that we are married, my in-laws have moved into our home in the U.S. I thought that after we got married things would be easier but they are not. My mother-in-law controls everything: from what we eat, to how we decorate the home etc. Recently, I broke down, and I had a long and intense conversation with my husband about his mom. And he has said he would talk with her about us both having input on everything. I’m hoping that this changes things for the better. Have you or any of your readers dealt with this?

Thank you,

Anonymous

OUR RESPONSE

Dear Anonymous, thank you for reading and writing.  My husband and I have not dealt with this situation to date.  Yet, I can provide some tips on building a relationship with your mother-in-law (also a long road traveled as an interracial/intercultural couple).  And my husband and I, do believe that talking with your husband about how you and his mom can share your home together is a start to living harmoniously.  Has anyone reading this dealt with this issue?  What feedback/help can you give this anonymous reader?  Respond below or send us an email at [email protected].

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