I Was Supposed To Have An Arranged Marriage…But Instead, I Chose Love: Black Man And Indian Woman

Love stories often unfold in surprising ways. Still, for PJ Temple (who is Indian) and KJ (who is Black), their journey was nothing short of revolutionary. Their relationship, born out of a chance meeting at a hip-hop show, blossomed in secrecy and flourished against the rigid expectations of culture, family, and societal norms.

A Love That Refused to Be Silenced

PJ Temple had just experienced a breakup when she met KJ. Still nursing the wounds of heartbreak, she was hesitant to engage in conversation, let alone consider a new romance. Yet, KJ’s warmth and energy intrigued her. She tried to leave the show without giving him much thought, but fate had other plans. They exchanged numbers, and what started reluctantly quickly turned into an undeniable connection during their first phone conversation the next day.

For the next two years, their love was a secret. PJ was raised with the expectation of an arranged marriage, a non-negotiable in her traditional Indian household. The idea of choosing a partner outside of her ethnicity—let alone outside of her parents’ approval—was unthinkable. When the time came to decide between the life she had always known and the love she had found, PJ made the heart-wrenching choice to leave home at 20.

It was more than just an act of rebellion—it was a pursuit of freedom. Her family saw it as running away, but for PJ, it was the first step toward living authentically. She knew she might lose everything—her family, her community, her sense of belonging—but she believed in love and in herself.

A Union of Art and Culture

KJ and PJ’s bond was like a song yet to be written, a rhythm that only they could understand. He was a musician; she was a poet. Their love was built on shared values, artistic expression, and a deep curiosity for each other’s cultures. Instead of resisting their differences, they embraced them, blending traditions and creating new ones unique to their love story.

Yet, acceptance wasn’t immediate. KJ’s mother had hoped he would marry a Black woman, and she approached their relationship with caution. She was aware of how exclusive and hierarchical Indian culture could be, and she feared how that might impact her son. On PJ’s side, the opposition was much fiercer. Her family couldn’t fathom a life outside of arranged marriage. To them, love outside of their own traditions was not only unacceptable but doomed to fail.

Overcoming the Impossible

Despite the barriers placed in their path, PJ and KJ refused to let external pressures dictate their love. They fought for their relationship with fierce devotion, navigating financial hardships, estrangement from PJ’s family, and even an unplanned pregnancy. They protected their love like a rare and fragile artifact, honoring each other’s experiences while contending with the harsh realities of prejudice and deeply ingrained cultural biases.

“The hardest thing,” PJ reflects, “was confronting the rigid and even racist aspects of tradition. We had to hold on to what love meant to us, not what others believed it should be.”

This relentless commitment to each other led them to discover deeper truths—not just about their relationship, but about the world around them.

The Memoir That Needed to Be Written

PJ’s journey was not just personal—it was universal. She realized that her struggles were shared by countless couples who dared to love outside of societal norms. As a psychologist, she wanted to explore why interracial relationships, particularly within Indian culture, faced such intense scrutiny.

She found the answer rooted in history: the remnants of the caste system and its parallels with America’s racial hierarchy. Growing up, she had witnessed firsthand how Indian immigrants often adopted America’s racial biases, reinforcing an already broken system.

Determined to share her story, PJ started writing. What began as a short essay evolved into a deeply personal memoir—a powerful exploration of caste, class, colorism, and the trials of protecting love against all odds. The book is more than a love story; it is a testament to the resilience required to challenge centuries-old traditions and redefine what it means to belong.

Lessons in Love and Resistance

Through her experiences, PJ has gathered invaluable lessons for couples navigating similar challenges:

Honor each other’s cultures – Differences should be celebrated, not feared. Learning from each other strengthens relationships rather than dividing them.
Protect your love fiercely – Even well-meaning family members can carry biases. Love requires setting boundaries against negativity, no matter the source.
Be honest about challenges – In protecting a relationship from external pressures, it’s easy to overlook internal struggles. A healthy relationship requires both love and accountability.
Prioritize mental health – Love should never come at the expense of well-being. Both partners must feel safe, respected, and valued.
Find your community – A supportive network can make all the difference. True friends and allies will stand beside you in love and in the fight for equality.

Boundless Love

PJ Temple and KJ’s journey is a reminder that love, in its truest form, is boundless. It transcends race, tradition, and societal expectations. Their story challenges the notion that love must conform to predefined standards and demonstrates that when nurtured with courage and commitment, love can overcome all obstacles.

PJ’s memoir promises to share the full depth of their experience—the beauty, the heartbreak, and the ultimate test of whether love can withstand the weight of the world. It is a story for anyone who has ever loved against the odds, for those who have fought to be seen, and for those who believe in the transformative power of love.

As PJ so eloquently puts it, “Love, in all its glorious and beautiful forms, will always find a way.”

PJ Temple’s Memoir Where the Tiger Dwells

Where the Tiger Dwells is a memoir about an American-born Indian girl whose very Christian parents are giddily in the process of arranging her marriage, while she becomes faint at the thought of telling them she’s pregnant with her secret Black boyfriend’s baby, represented by Sarah Jane Freymann Literary Agency.

Readers can follow her on Instagram (@pjtemple7) and visit her website (www.pjtemple.com) for updates about the book’s release and education on immigrant and generational trauma from a psychological perspective. PJ has also released a book of essays on navigating life as an Indian woman in America.

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