Growing Up Gupta

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15 REMARKS INTERRACIAL/INTERCULTURAL COUPLES HATE TO HEAR (UNFILTERED)

15 REMARKS INTERRACIAL/INTERCULTURAL COUPLES HATE TO HEAR (UNFILTERED)

15 REMARKS INTERRACIAL/INTERCULTURAL COUPLES HATE TO HEAR

Being in an interracial/intercultural relationship often is presented with double and triple takes, raised eyebrows, frowns, uncanny, funny, and sarcastic comments.  Throughout the course of our 12 year relationship and 8 year’s of marriage my Indian husband and I (an African-American woman) have been confronted with some of the most random and ostentatious statements.

What types of utterings are you asking?

Here are our top 15 remarks interracial/intercultural couples hate to hear (unfiltered):

1.) I thought you would be divorced by now? I mean your cultures are so different.   Yes,  our cultures are different and so are we but it is our similarities that have drawn us together. Nope we are not divorced and we don’t wish divorce on anyone.

2.) I never saw an interracial couple like you two before? Diversity is such a beautiful and amazing dynamic isn’t it!

3.) You are going to have mixed babies! You know that right? Yes we are and we can’t wait to see what they look like. Mixed ethnicity babies represent over 46% of new babies that are born in the U.S.

4.)  Your parents are okay with your relationship?  Oh, my GOSH, what do your parents think?  Well we have overcome hurdles like many couples have and at the end of the day our parents are not in our relationship.  Eventually, our parents may or may not adjust to our significant other’s cultural/ethnic differences.  Nonetheless, time is a healer!

5.) I feel sorry for your parents they must be so ashamed/embarrassed? Why? We are the one’s in the relationship and we are not ashamed/embarrassed of our relationship.

6.) What will your kids look like? Who knows DNA and Genetics are wonderful and surprising.

7.) Are you two together? Yes, clearly we are together!  Do you see me holding his/her hand, both of us with wedding rings on our fingers, within a fingertip reach of each other and we are both ok with it?

8.)  I wouldn’t have put you two together. Well it is a good thing your name isn’t Patti Stanger/that you aren’t a world renowned match-maker, or God because some things have divine appointments.  We wouldn’t have put ourselves together either but we are and we are loving it!

9.) The holiday’s and family get-together’s have to be crazy for you? Yes the holiday’s and family get-together’s  are busy like anyone else’s holidays but at the end of the day it’s great to see family when you can.  It is amazing how you can create an interracial/intercultural family fusion want to know more check out our book the Art of Interracial dating.

10.) Hmm what is your child? Our child is a multiethnic child like many people of multicultural/multiethnic heritage in America. That is the great thing about America, right?   It is a melting pot!

11.) Don’t you think you child is going to be so confused and have to choose between cultures? Not if we have anything to do with it. Our child/children will be able to celebrate both cultures even if “the majority” try to pigeon hole them into one ethnic box.

12.)  What do you friends think? Our “real” friends love us just like anyone else’s friends do. Those that aren’t real friends are no longer in our lives for a reason.

13.) You hate your race don’t you?  Well we are one race, the human race, aren’t we?!  I love my ethnicity and being able to embrace someone else’s ethnicity actually makes my life fuller.

14.) How is dating a X?  He/she is human just like you or I.  Just like dating another human with joys and challenges at times.

15.) It’s just a phase or curiosity right?  Is your relationship just a phase or curiosity?

Are you in an interracial or intercultural relationship? What kinds of things have you heard that you loathe? Post a comment. Please share. Like our content Subscribe!

23 comments found

  2. Wow. I am stunned that people would say this directly to you! I’ve been in inter-racial relationships before, but nobody has ever said anything like that to my face. I’m sadly quite sure they did behind our backs though.

    1. Yes, these are all sad and true. All were directly said to our faces without a second thought which was the most shocking part.

  3. I used to be in an interracial couple but NEVER got these kind of comments. I think probably because my partner was white and where we lived mixed children are OBVIOUSLY the most beautiful…

    These are really wrong RACIST comments anybody could throw at you.

    5- well.. they will be beautiful? I don’t get the question..
    7- ok whatever.

    1. They are definitely ignorant comments but I think a lot of comments like these are simply thrown under the rug. 5.) They are beautiful was my rebuttal to the question of “what will the kids look like?” We actually got this question a lot from Indians. An African-American marrying an Indian person is still a taboo relationship in Indian culture. We hope to bring greater awareness to our relationship and other taboo relationships.

  4. I love this post so much! As a Chinese adoptee, I’m definitely familiar with the utter rudeness that people can express towards mixed racial families. And I’m now in an interracial relationship too. We should be celebrating the love between two people instead of picking it apart based on cultural expectations! Thanks for shedding some necessary unfiltered light on this subject!

  5. I am an Indian woman, married to an African American man and we too have experienced such comments. They come from the Indian community because such a relationship is still not considered ideal. Interracial relationships with whites are ok, if an Indian spouse is not found. From there, the hierarchy of racial preference begins. It’s ridiculous the comments I’ve run across, but 20 years later, we are still together and going strong. We have a beautiful triracial daughter, as we recently discovered. My husband found out that he is actually half white, of Jewish descent. She embraces her Indian side and African American side.

    1. Amazing! Thank you for commenting. You are spot on with the hierarchy of racial preference in the Indian community. If I was White it would have been a non-issue and I doubt we would have heard these comments. Congratulations on reaching 20 years together that is to be CELEBRATED!

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