Multicultural Resources The Art of Interracial Marriage

Swiping Right For Love So Tinder

Swiping Right For Love So Tinder

Interracial/Intercultural Marriage:  African-American And Caucasian Woman And Indian Man

About Us

Hello, everyone! Our names are Simone and Debmalya.

What Are Your Ethnicities

Simone is biracial. Her mother is African-American and her father is Caucasian.  Debmalya is Bengali.

Where Were You Both Born And Raised

Simone was born and raised in a tiny state called New Hampshire in the USA.

Debmalya was born in New Delhi, India, and raised in Kolkata in the State of West Bengal in India.

How Did You Meet

Simone shares that she went to visit her cousin in upstate New York, 3 hours from New Hampshire, where she was living at the time. Debmalya was living in the same town, studying for his Ph.D. A few years prior, he had come to the USA to study for his master’s degree. And so while Simone was waiting for the other girls to get ready to go out for drinks and dancing, she decided to go on Tinder.

Simone adds, “I really don’t know why I went on Tinder, because I was leaving the next morning and wouldn’t be coming back for a long time (at least I thought so) but Debmalya and I swiped right. He ended up coming down to one of the bar’s, and we continued to see each other on the weekends and take vacations, for a year, before deciding to live together.”

How Long Have You Been Together

We have been together for 3 years and married for two.  Some may think a year is not a long time to date before getting married, but we knew that it was the right decision for us and that is all that matters.

How Was Meeting Debmalya’s Parents For The First Time

I (Simone) had asked Debmalya in the very beginning of our relationship if his family would be okay with our relationship. He told me that his mom would have no problem. I was relieved. Debmalya’s father, sadly passed away before I met Debmalya, but he says that his dad would have really liked me. For the first two years of our relationship, I would talk to my mother-in-law on the phone sometimes, and we would video chat occasionally, she even sent me some gifts. This past December, we finally went to India, and I was welcomed with open arms. My mother-in-law, my sister-in-law and all Debmalya’s relatives are so kind and loving.  I feel like I gained a second family and I really look forward to visiting them again.

How Was Meeting Simone’s Parents For The First Time

The first meeting with her mom involved a 15-minute interrogation regarding my intentions with her beloved daughter.  It was all slightly unnerving, but well-intentioned. Her dad was jovial and even made me help him install his new cooking range, the first time we met (haha). Overall, it was great to see her parents cared about her and were discerning about the people she associated with.

What Obstacles Did You Encounter For Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Relationship

Couples who have the same citizenship can easily live together without worrying about immigration status. After Debmalya left his student visa status, we had to file for his green card, so we could live together in the USA. Luckily, our process was super easy compared to a lot of other immigration cases. Another obstacle for me (Simone), is the fact that my Bengali is very basic right now. When I went to India, sometimes I felt left out because I couldn’t understand when everyone was speaking in Bengali. That just means I need to study more Bengali.  Debmalya’s relatives speak English, so I am glad we do not have a serious language barrier.

How Did You Overcome These Obstacles

We hired a great lawyer (haha) and if for some reason, the government wouldn’t allow Debmalya to stay, I would have moved to India. I hired an online Bengali tutor and Debmalya has been teaching me a lot too.

Provide Any Engagement Or Wedding Tips You Wish You Knew Beforehand

We really don’t have any engagement or wedding tips to share because Debmalya and I got married in the courthouse and had dinner afterward. We did not have an extravagant wedding or even an engagement, but that is just the type of people we are. We never wanted a ceremony, but I am not saying that big weddings or engagements are bad. I believe everyone should do what they feel is best for them.

Share With Us Your Top Takeaways/Advice To An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

Be open and curious. We are all shaped by our experiences, and upbringing; respect and embrace the diversity that comes from it.

What Do You Love About Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

I (Simone) love that I get to call India my second home and that I gained another family. Before meeting Debmalya, I had tried southern and northern Indian food, but I had never tried Bengali food. It is very different, but I love it. I love that I get to learn another language and celebrate so many different holidays.

For Debmalya the relationship opened up a new world of food and culture on one hand; on the other, it brought him exposure to the story of the Jewish and African-American struggles of my ancestors.

What Are You Still Learning From Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

Growing up in different countries and cultures, there are minute differences in body language and manners of speaking that come up in daily life. We are still trying to acknowledge these differences and learn from them.

Anything Else You Want To Add To Help Others Reading This

In a divided world, diversity is all the more important. Use the unique opportunity of interracial/intercultural relationships as a way of promoting acceptance, tolerance, and love.

 

What did you think of Simone and Debmalya’s love story?  We love the power of social media, don’t you?  Thank you, both again for sharing your honest and charming love story and more with us.  Want to share your story with us?  Write to us, at growingupgupta@gmail.com.  Post a comment and post this article on Pinterest for later.


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