Multicultural Resources Parenting The Art of Interracial Marriage

Forever Came Calling

Forever Came Calling

Interracial/Intercultural Marriage: Caucasian Woman And Indian Man

About Us

Hi Everyone! Our names are Taylor and Jinoy.   I (Taylor) am a Caucasian woman from the USA.  My husband, Jinoy, is Indian and he is from India.  We have two precious sons named Taj and Rahm.

How Did You Meet

We lived in the same city but went to different high schools. One day, we met at a local teenage hangout. We talked for a while but forgot to take each other’s phone numbers that night. Randomly, Jinoy’s friend asked my friend and me to a movie a month later, and luckily Jinoy came along. We exchanged numbers at that time, and we have never stopped talking.

How Long You Have Been Together

We have been together since 2012 and married since 2014. Recently, we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary!

How Was Meeting His Parents For The First Time

I (Taylor) will never forget the day that I first “met” Jinoy’s mom because it was through email.  She lived in India and he was here in the U.S.A. studying abroad.  Jinoy had already told her about me.  She is the most loving mother anyone can ever imagine because she has openly accepted me from the first day.

How Was Meeting Her Parents For The First Time

My parents approved of Jinoy after they met him.  Thankfully, both of our families were more than accepting of our relationship and love.

Provide Any Engagement Or Wedding Tips You Wish You Knew Beforehand

Before marriage, make sure to discuss topics that may arise a year or so after.   Topics such as parents moving in full-time or part-time. I think this is a huge obstacle many women face that marry an Indian man.

What Cultural Obstacles Have You Encountered And Overcome Due To Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

When I (Taylor) found out there was a possibility that my mother-in-law would come live with us, it was a shock at first. In the early months of her living with us, it was hard.  It as a huge cultural shock.  At first, I didn’t know how to handle it.  I was newly married, pregnant with our first son, and I wasn’t prepared for the changes to come.   In India, young girls grow up in a very family-oriented atmosphere. They know they will likely marry into the family of their family’s choosing. They also know that they will live jointly with their husband’s family eventually and take care of their in-laws.
On the other hand, in the USA, we do not have the same upbringings. Traditionally as a child, you do not see your family living jointly. A household consists of a father, mother, and their children. That is what I also had in mind before I knew about my mother-in-law coming to live with us permanently.

Adapting To My Mother-In-Law Living With Us

However, as the days and months passed, I learned and adjusted in my own way.  The day our first son was born, is the day my love and compassion truly changed, and I felt blessed to have my mother-in-law with us.  Rather than a hurdle in our life, she became a huge helping hand.  And fast forwarding to today, we have all been living together (including her mother and father come to stay six months each year with us) for almost five years.
Thereby, I have matured, adapted, and accepted that this is how life is. I cannot ask for a better family support system. My mother-in-law is truly one of a kind. She took the role of loving me as her daughter rather than a daughter-in-law,  and that is how we see each other. I do not call her Sassu or any other mother-in-law term in Gujarati. She is “mom” and that she will always be.
My in-laws may think that they are the lucky ones for Jinoy choosing me, but honestly, it is me who is the lucky one. They are the best family anyone could ask for in the world.  I would hope and wish that every daughter-in-law can grow this type of relationship with their mother-in-law.

Advice To Others Dealing With This Situation

Both be open, honest, and accepting.  Not just one of you, but BOTH!  If you can accept each other, you will see the best in each other, and that will lead to you loving each other.

Share With Us Your Top Takeaways/Advice To An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

Our best advice to everyone is to keep an open mind. You don’t have to change yourself or pretend to be someone you’re not. Just stay positive and accessible to every new situation or experience that life gives you.

What Do You Love About Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

I (Taylor) truly love my intercultural marriage because of the family it has given me. I have not only gained the best husband, but also the best family that I could wish for.

What Are You Still Learning From Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

My husband’s native language. I (Taylor) wish to know Gujarati completely one day.

How Are You Raising Your Beautiful Children To Know Both Of Your Cultures

We both think it is important to celebrate all holidays from both cultures. Don’t skip or make one holiday seem less important to your children. Make them feel that both cultures are on the same level of importance, and they will never have to choose which is better.

 

What did you think of Taylor and Jinoy’s love story? They have such a beautiful family, don’t they?  Thank you, Taylor, for being so candid about cultural differences and how you had to adapt to living with your mother-in-law and tips for others in the same situation. You are blessed to have such an amazing mother-in-law.  Thank you both again for sharing your voice with our readers!

Want to share your love story? Write to us @growingupgupta@gmail.com. Pin their love story for later on Pinterest (pin is shown below). Find us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram @growingupguptas and Twitter @growingupgupta.

 

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