In my early 20s, I would not have prescribed to marriage as being an art. Perhaps just two people being hopelessly in love and wanting to devote the rest of their lives to each other. Understanding that the beauty of true friendship will outweigh the frills that come after you say I do.  However, as I type this now, with close to 7.5 years of marriage under my belt, it is definitely an art.  I would go even further to say that being married to a man of a different culture makes the art even more colorful.


Colorful in the sense that I have had to learn what to wear and when to wear it. From Lehengas at Indian weddings and Sangeets because I had no clue of how to accurately pin and prim a Saree to Salwar suits at less formal events.  To who’s feet I need to touch when a relative is coming to visit from India or in India. What color polish and lipstick I have to wear during a traditional Indian wedding ceremony as “the bride”.  Understanding that I must have a bite to eat at an Uncle or Aunties home out of respect.  Learning that Uncles and Aunties aren’t really your blood related Uncles and Aunties like I had growing up but family friends/an extension of your community.  Snacks are apart of dinner and not a stand alone activity.  How to accurately position a tikka on your forehead. To teaching myself to make Indian cuisine, one interesting and delightful dish at a time.  And learning what names (in Hindi) I should use for each of my new family members.

These definitely are not things I had to do growing up in my African-American family.  However these are things that have become second nature.

Find out more about dating and marrying interracially/interculturally in our book!


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