Multicultural Resources The Art of Interracial Marriage

You Have My Heart In Your Hands

You Have My Heart In Your Hands

Interracial And Intercultural Marriage: Gujarati Man and Haitian Woman

About

Meet Rinku & Sarah! Rinku is Indian (Gujarati), and his wife, Sarah, is Black (Haitian).

Sarah and Rinku

How They Met

Rinku and Sarah met while in college through a large gross human anatomy course. During cardiac week Rinku asked Sarah if she could tell him about the heart (which she had in her hands). The pop quiz didn’t go too well, so he thought it would be a good idea for them to study together, and she didn’t decline.

How Did They Know It Was Meant To Be

Simply put, the big things were easy for them. Rinku and Sarah possessed parallel visions of what they wanted for the future.

Rinku and Sarah

How Was Meeting Rinku’s Parents For The First Time

It was memorable for Sarah but not in the way one would hope. Earlier that day, she had her wisdom teeth pulled out and felt like a chipmunk. Despite hearing of all the ways that meeting Rinku’s parents could go wrong, his parents were very receptive to Sarah. In fact, Rinku’s parents started as a ‘love marriage’ across caste, so they valued their relationship despite the difference in background, which positively reinforced the possibility of a long-term relationship.

How Was Meeting Sarah’s Parents For The First Time

Sarah’s parents were extremely polite, easy-going, non-judgmental, and had a genuine curiosity about cultures outside of their own. Truth be told, Sarah’s uncle was in a “Blindian (Black and South Asian/Indian)” marriage, so some of the unknowns were familiar (before their relationship came into the picture).

What Challenges Have They Faced As A Couple

Despite having a non-traditional Indian upbringing, Rinku battled with the weight of a long-term interracial relationship. He seldom acknowledged his and Sarah’s differences since he let his feelings lead the way, but when he did face them against the backdrop of a lifetime together, Rinku struggled to figure out how to make the pieces workOver time, Rinku realized what a life together would be for him and Sarah. It meant sharing your unique life and perspective with someone else and working to blend it all together.

On the other hand, Sarah had to confront the reality that many individuals in the Caribbean Black community emphasized that Indians don’t marry Blacks. A striking moment for her happened while she was a teenager watching a Bollywood movie at a Caribbean Indian friend’s home. Sarah shared her thoughts on how she, along with other family members, found the male hero handsome. Sarah’s friend’s father immediately told her that Indian men would not marry women darker-skinned than them. Being young and unaware, Sarah bought into this narrative. Even after she and Rinku started dating, Sarah let this bias fuel her skepticism about their future. It took a lot of reframing of their experiences together to value that their connection was much farther than skin deep.

Finally, Rinku and Sarah have had their share of instances in predominantly Indian or Haitian communities where they have received uncomfortable stares or service. One specific example was when Sarah was lehenga shopping for their Hindu wedding ceremony. Rinku, Sarah, and her mother-in-law walked into a store, and a female shop clerk refused to help them because Sarah was not Indian. Then and there, Rinku’s mom immediately corrected the shop clerk’s discrimination and told her that she didn’t deserve their business.

Sarah and Rinku at their Indian wedding
Rinku and Sarah at their Christian wedding ceremony

Rinku And Sarah’s Advice For Other Couples

Being in an interracial relationship forces you to confront your traditions and culture because it isn’t as simple as practicing two sets of everything. Instead, focus on what really matters to you as a couple. Practice communication with empathy which includes ‘checking in’ on your partner’s well-being and thoughts on a subject so that you grow together.

What did you think about Rinku and Sarah’s love story?  Have a question for us or want to share your story?  Write to us at growingupgupta@gmail.com.

Pin this post for later here!

 

 

 

 

Check out my new zazzle store
Check out and shop for multicultural home goods and I love masala me products!!!

GrowingUpGupta

by GrowingUpGupta

 

Are you following us at www.growingupgupta.com yet? Find us on Instagram and Pinterest @growingupguptas and on Twitter @growingupgupta, Facebook @growingupguptablog.

This post contains affiliate links that support the operation of this blog!

 

 

You may also like...

3 Comments

  1. Stephanie Calixte says:

    Love this. For I am also a Haitian woman dating a Punjabi Indian man and I doubt the relationship everyday, because even my own friends tells me that Indian men only date black women as a “fetish” and they will never take the relationship seriously. Earlier I prayed regarding my relationship and the fact that Sarah is Haitian I think is a sign that God heard my 🙏🏾 Prayer. Thank you so much for sharing.

    1. Growing Up Gupta says:

      Thank you so much for writing and sharing this. God is good!

      1. Growing Up Gupta says:

        My husband also had friends that wanted him to fetishize me and said so with me present, but he didn’t, and they are no longer friends. Be forthright in what you need and want from your relationship—wishing you the best!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *