Interracial Dating The Art of Interracial Marriage


August 15, 2016 was our 8th wedding anniversary.  My husband and I have known each other for nearly 13 years.  In the past 8 years of our marriage we have moved to and lived in over 8 cities, and 5 states, and had our first child.  We have complied this top 13 secrets to a successful interracial/intercultural relationship for those interested in some keys to a successful relationship.

Why interracial/intercultural relationship based?  For starters, interracial/intercultural relationships more often than not have more challenges due to cultural variances etc.  Nonetheless, these tips are helpful for anyone looking to strengthen their relationship.



1.) Open and honest communication.  As many of us know this is a/the key for all relationships we are in. Both parties in the relationship have to be willing to keep the communication open, honest, and on-going.

2.) Creating and/or preserving common morals, values, and principles, in addition to boundaries.  There has to be a commonality in the relationship that enables it to thrive.  At the  core of a relationship this often includes: a similar belief system, life goals, morals, values, and principles etc.

3.) Listening.  Both of you in an interracial/intercultural relationship have to take time to fully listen to each other.

4.) Sacrifice.  Since interracial/intercultural relationships often involve two people of a different culture and/or religion there are more than often going to be challenges that you have to overcome together.  It is an amazing relationship journey but it also one that will take sacrifice on both your parts.

5.) Embracing and celebrating differences. Adding onto #4, you will both have to be willing to learn about new customs, family traditions, rituals, religion, language; essentially a different way of life from your own upbringing.

6.) Don’t go to bed angry. This was a secret that we learned from a couple that was in their 90’s when we first started dating. They told us their secret was that they never go to bed angry. Stay up as along as you need to even if it is 3, 4, 5am in the morning and settle the argument.

7.) Decide to wake up again! This is an action that my husband and I have implemented from day one of our marriage. If we have a disagreement and one of us is noticing that this argument is fruitless/senseless that person will chime in and say “can we wake up again?”  In essence you are saying that I don’t want to argue with you.  This isn’t an argument worth us having instead let’s wake up again and start anew.  And this has also been our way of mutually saying we were wrong for arguing, we apologize for our part in the argument, and we are waking up again with a clean slate.

8.) Pick your battles!  Thank you Heather @ we agree on the need to choose your battles wisely.  Some intercultural/interracial battles are best left said and then left alone.  See Knowing Your Place.

9.) Manage expectations.  You may find yourself and/or your significant other being prodded and pulled in a multitude of new, exciting, and different directions.  Determine with your spouse or significant other the best route to navigate the relationship and all extended relationships so that it does not impact your relationship. More to come on this and can also be found in our book.

10.) Create a cultural balance/fusion that works for your relationship.

11.) Patience.  One of the two of you must be a little bit more patient than the other is what we recently heard from a couple that has been married for over twenty years.  Having patience definitely helps in any type of relationship.

12.) Be willing and ready to continually grow together instead of apart.  Through the years your jobs and/or life situations may take you in different directions make sure that in this course you are still on the/a journey together.

13.)  Decide you are in the relationship for the long haul.  There is no other option for either of you but each other.


Are you in an interracial/intercultural relationship?  What other secrets to an successful relationship do you have/know? Share this post. Post a comment below. Like our content? Subscribe!


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  1. My husband is Japanese, his English isn’t perfect which makes things hard especially when arguing or he feels stressed out. “Pick your battles” is a common tip for marriage and ours is no exception! While the language and cultural differences can make things harder, I try to remember it also makes things more exciting. Focusing on the good things is key 🙂

    1. Growing Up Gupta says:

      Yes, we whole-heartedly agree! Thanks for writing!

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