Multicultural Resources The Art of Interracial Marriage

From Coffee Meets Bagel To So This Is Love

About Us

Hi everyone! Our names are Telwin & Carolyn, aka CurryandtheStates.  Telwin is Indian, and he was born and raised in Pune, India.  He moved to the United States of America at 26 years old.   Carolyn is Caucasian, and she is a midwestern girl that was born and raised in O’Fallon, IL.  Together, they made Nashville, TN, their home for the last 1.5 years, but recently moved to Louisville, KY.

How We Met

Telwin & Carolyn:  In short, it was by fate, and a result of these four events aligning together.
1.)  A random coworker alters dates for a work trip landing Telwin in Chicago directly after Carolyn’s return from vacation.
2.) Two helpful coworkers convinced Carolyn to go on a date with Telwin though she was only wanted to stay home.
3.) Several carefully curated dating app settings (credit Coffee Meets Bagel).
4.) A classic Chicago ice storm creating a romantic and solo experience on a Salsa Club Dance Floor.

Telwin Set His Dating App To ‘Chicago’ And Indian’

Now since you are all the more intrigued, to explain-in depth, Telwin was traveling through Chicago on business and wanted to take the opportunity to meet with some Indian Girls.    He was proactively looking to meet someone before his parents could start setting him up on dates. So by setting his dating app to ‘Chicago’ and ‘Indian,’ he thought his chances were pretty good.  Though Telwin’s filters kept Carolyn away, her app brought him right to her fingertips – a swipe right, of course! She wasn’t exactly what he was searching for, as every Indian boy knows, if you’re ready for marriage, its time to settle down with a sweet Indian girl.  One in particular where you both understand the customs and traditions of marriage by a certain age.  But the redhead in the photos named Carolyn seemed intriguing, so Telwin decided to match with her as well.

The Perfect  Storm

Their first date was as perfect as could be – a Chicago Ice Storm had kept the entire city home. Therefore, the dance floor and DJ were all theirs at a downtown Salsa club. What could have been a terribly awkward experience turned into hours of laughing, talking, and of course – sexy salsa dancing! However, towards the end of their date, the reality of the distance between them hit. At that moment, Carolyn decided that if Telwin was ready for marriage, and had come to the city to meet a compatible Indian girl, who was she to stand in the way? They were better just as friends who shared a fantastic first (and last) date.

It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye

Taking the goodbyes harder than they both thought, their Monday’s back at work were equally terrible. With the date on his mind, Telwin took a wrong turn driving to work.   Meanwhile, Carolyn was deep in the doldrum and accidentally ‘replied all’ to a company-wide email-yikes!

Eventually weeks of phone calls finally grew into a budding relationship, and Telwin found himself driving 8.5 hours to surprise Carolyn in Chicago to propose! Not to propose marriage but to formally make Carolyn his significant other with the intention of marriage in the future.

How Did You Know You Were Meant To Be

Telwin: A well-timed friendly wink from Carolyn during a slightly low point in his day. I still love it when she winks at me.
Carolyn: A surprise understanding of a joke she didn’t think Telwin’s Indian upbringing would allow him to get. I have a particular sense of humor, and I was holding back the first few conversations because I didn’t know if he would get it! When he cracked up, I knew I could finally be my full funny self! He did warn me; they may not get my humor in India-LOL.

How Long You Have Been Together

Telwin & Carolyn: We were crazy and got married precisely eight months after our first date in Nashville, TN.  We have been together for just about two years now and married for a little over one year.

How Was Meeting Her Parents For The First Time

Carolyn:   Telwin met my family first during a full extended family birthday party! He fit right in because my entire family are world travelers. There was never a dull moment, and he felt very included.  A noteworthy experience during their first meeting is that Telwin ate pancakes for the first time!

How Was Meeting His Parents For The First Time

Telwin:  Carolyn met my parents five days before our wedding when they visited the US for the first time! We had just purchased a house together and moved in 3 days before their visit. Meeting in-laws, getting married, and a brand new home were all pretty big steps.
Two unique experiences during their first meeting are that  Carolyn taught my parents how to use a seatbelt.  If you have been to India then you know they aren’t popular there.  Secondly, Carolyn and my mom had a blast draping sarees and sipping chai together.

What Engagement Or Wedding Tips Do You Wish You Knew Beforehand

Telwin & Carolyn: Luckily we talked and accidentally figured these things out beforehand; otherwise, we would have encountered some cultural clashes. Hence our tips are to understand that traditional Indian engagements are different than American engagements, as are the rings, and make sure to figure out the expectations of your partner.

What Obstacles Have You Encountered For Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Relationship Or Marriage

Telwin & Carolyn: We have yet to encounter an obstacle.  However, if you count stacks of joint asset and proof of marriage papers on our kitchen counter to compile our Green Card file, then that was an organized mess of an obstacle – so that glad that is over and put away!

What Advice Do You Have For Anyone Working Through The Green Card Process

 Telwin & Carolyn:  Our tips on the green card process are as follows.
  • Get started on the process earlier than later, no harm in gathering paperwork before the wedding date! Then all you need to do is plug in your marriage certificate!
  • Keep a google photos file and anytime you get a great picture with friends or holidays, just file it away right away, so you have a great folder to choose from. Thus, when Snapfish or Walgreens runs a sale, you already know which pictures you need to print!
  • Create a shared drive, so you both have access to adding w-2’s, birth certificates, and all of the paperwork you need to submit
  • Once you submit your paperwork, keep it all handy in your google drive account.  Because the chances are that you will need it again.  Having everything in one spot made buying our house so easy because we already had everything we needed to process our loan!
  • The interviewers can tell when you’re in love, so no need to worry during the questioning. I (Carolyn) got my dates twisted, and we laughed it off and still got Telwin’s Green Card with no issues.

Share With Us Your Top Takeaways/Advice To An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

Carolyn & Telwin: No one’s culture is more important than the others; don’t give up your entire self to be part of another.
Carolyn: No one loves wearing a saree more than I do – believe me! But this year, I learned Telwin has never heard of the Easter Bunny! He teaches me how to blend Indian Spices, and I taught him the magic that is tuna casserole! It is really all balance.

What Do You Love About Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

Carolyn: We love diving deep into our childhoods and figuring out how we were raised the same and different. I asked Telwin, ‘what did your mom yell at you for as a kid? He immediately imitated his mom yelling in Malayalam, “Telwin! Hang your wet towel up, please!” And I cracked up because no matter what country you’re raised in, all moms and kids have the same conversations.  Furthermore, we found out we both loved reading the Harry Potter books and read them at about the same age.  Yet I read the hardback series, while Telwin read the 70₹ pirated versions – same books, different quality.

What Are You Still Learning From Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

Telwin: We don’t know what we don’t know until it accidentally comes up! We don’t have kids yet; however, Carolyn accidentally learned that it’s popular to cosleep until we are around 6ish. I never thought to tell her that because I didn’t know Americans didn’t do that!
Also funny little things like when an entire stadium sings the lyrics to “the most popular American song ever” and I’m like well, it didn’t make it to India so how popular could it be? (Sweeeeeeet Carolineeeee BA BA BA) I got a lot of flack for not knowing that song since it’s my wife’s name hahaha.
Additionally, I never knew how amazing it is to have an American Accent always at my side up until now. All my American neighbors have called me “Delvin” but, my trustee wife has stepped up, and she does the introduction, so I am back to being “TeL-Win.”

Anything Else You Want To Add To Help Others Reading This

Telwin & Carolyn:  We feel truly grateful that both of our families are completely in love with our significant others. But we know that that is not always the case, and we just want you to know to stay strong and let love win. When it is truly right, it is right.

 

Thank you, Telwin & Carolyn, for sharing your whirlwind, fun-loving, and kismet love story with us. What did you think of their love story and tips for others? Find out more about Telwin & Carolyn via their YouTube channel @curryandthestates! On their YouTube channel!  You will find that Carolyn isn’t afraid of making a fool of herself (‘American Speaks Hindi funny edition’).  Additionally, you can even learn a thing or two from their most popular video – ‘Arranged Marriage – What America Doesn’t know.’ Social media handles: Youtube: CurryandtheStates and Instagram: @curryandthestates.

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