A Perfect Match

Interracial/Intercultural Marriage: African-American Woman And Indian Man

About Us

Hi, my name is Keisha ,and I’m an African-American woman. My husband’s name is Cyriac, and he is Indian.

How We Met

Keisha shares that we met, in person, at a Borders bookstore after first connecting on Match.com. I had no idea who I was meeting because I wasn’t on Match.com for that long; Cyriac also used his real name when he emailed me. I went to Borders bookstore assuming I would be meeting a Black man. And immediately to my surprise, this South-Asian man, I “winked” at, was there!

How Long You Have Been Together?

We have been together for 14 1/2 yrs!

How Was Meeting His Parents For The First Time?

Keisha says, Cyriac was more excited for me to meet his parents than I was. Candidly, I still wasn’t sure if I was that serious about him yet. His parents were sitting in his apartment watching, Spike Lee’s, Malcolm X when I entered the room! I was cynical, and thought it was staged, LOL! His mom hugged me, and so did his dad soon after. They gave the best first impression!

How Was Meeting Her Parents For The First Time?

Keisha states, Cyriac met my mom by accident-as he was dropping me off from hanging out. It was uncomfortable because it wasn’t planned, and we were still getting to know each other. My mom and her impromptu pop-up broke the ice at least. She liked him and didn’t have an issue with his ethnicity. Both our families know our ancestral kinship is deeper despite the barriers.

Our Top Tips To An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage:

Keisha shares the following top tips to an interracial/intercultural marriage:

1. Know your non-negotiables. The best thing I did, was set my boundaries with him early on. We talked about things that made each other uncomfortable about the other’s racial and overall background.

2. Consider the way you were brought up could be completely different and figure out a way to compromise, or create a new way of living in harmony. We are more from two different: spiritual, class, educational backgrounds, etc. We took the things we liked and discarded the things we didn’t to form our own way of living.

3. Celebrate each other’s culture by attending: events, listening to music, cooking each other’s food, and then find the connections between them. We played games and music that had elements of both cultures in our wedding (e.g., MLK’s admiration for Gandhi & Jay Z & Punjabi MC was both an education and musical favorites for our guest!)

What Do You Love About Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage

Keisha states, I love non-verbally sharing with other black women that you are worthy of finding love. Love with any man from any race, or culture, and you do not have to assimilate to them. It is possible to stay 100% you!

Cyriac adds, that we’re all just souls connecting; the flesh doesn’t tells you who we are, your experiences do. Lastly, we both would say that we found someone that matches our most critical parts of our core: our political beliefs.

What Are You Still Learning From Being In An Interracial/Intercultural Marriage?

Keisha says, that the world we live in is still stuck in a sunken place. Particularly, when it comes to seeing a calm and proud black woman (not loud, nor angry) with another man of color matching her worth.

Any Parenting Tips You Have For Raising Multicultural Kids

Keisha and Cyriac have two beautiful children. These are their must-know tips for raising multicultural kids.

Be equal in teaching your child about their ancestry. If they learn a language derived from India, learn one from the African diaspora.
Mesh both cultures and religions, so they have a well-balanced view of who they are.
Never speak from your negative experiences and project that on your children. If you didn’t have the best outcome with dating or marrying your racial counterpart, don’t project that perception onto your children. That doesn’t help bring us together as humans wanting to be accepted. Speak love, be love and give love.
Lastly, how you love yourself, in the skin you’re in, will be the way they will love themselves. Have images around the house that celebrate them. Toys, books, and movies should always reflect their beauty. As a person that has been working with youth for over 20 years, believe me: images have power!

Anything Else You Would Like To Add To Help Others?

Do your research when you don’t know the answer. Ignorance is not always bliss! Our children look to us to teach them things our schools won’t and don’t.

Thank you, Keisha and Cyriac for sharing your beautiful and funny love story with us! It is not every day that you hear of both sets of parents being so loving and open-minded to a new culture. And we love your tips for raising multicultural kids! What did you think of Keisha and Cyriac’s love story? Have a question for us? Write us at [email protected]! Find us on Twitter @growingupgupta and on Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook @growingupguptas.

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5 Comments

Andriana C says:
Posted on December 13, 2018 at 10:34 am

Hi! There’s a group out on facebook called “*partners of Indians* *masala Sisterood*

It’s for women, like us, who are in interracial marriages with indian/ desi spouses. We trade recipes and etc. Lots of other bloggers are also listed on there. Come out out if you’re interested and I’ll add you in there 🙂
My Interracial Relationship Changed My Thoughts About Love And Sparked Prejudice And Discrimination From Other Women of Color - Growing Up Gupta says:
Posted on February 1, 2019 at 8:15 pm

[…] As a Black woman, I never imagined I would end up marrying a South Asian man. Seriously, never. Being able to relate to a man of a different racial/ethnic background the same way I have with men of African descent was something I just never fathomed. Sure enough, my mouth was “shut wide open” when I met my now-husband JC. […]
J. says:
Posted on June 17, 2019 at 4:18 pm

I love your story. Today is my daughter and son in laws 1 year anniversary….I just love my son in law and love the uniqueness of their love story. Its so important when you say you have a silent nod to other women of color that they can have love to and its ok to date outside of your race or culture. love that!! PS. my daughter’s story is on this site some where. they are from Denver
1. Growing Up Gupta says:
  Posted on September 6, 2019 at 7:24 pm
  
  Thank you for reading! You have a fantastic daughter and son-in-law. Happy to share their love journey!
2. Keisha Mathew says:
  Posted on January 31, 2020 at 3:44 pm
  
  Thanks for your response!! We communicate all the time to each other, so thank you!!

Comments are closed.