TINDER LOVE-CAUCASIAN WOMAN AND INDIAN MAN

TINDER LOVE

INTERRACIAL/INTERCULTURAL LOVE:

CAUCASIAN WOMAN AND INDIAN MAN

ABOUT US

Hi, our names are Clara and Uma.  I, Clara am a Caucasian woman from the U.S.  My boyfriend, Uma is an Indian man from India.  We have been together for 2.5 years and we have been cohabitating for over a year.  We live in Kansas where Uma works for Global Logic and I work as a server at a restaurant/ full time student.  We spend our free time with friends, trying new foods, hiking, biking, and binging on Netflix.  We plan to get married when we visit India but, have not yet made the actual plans to do so.

HOW WE MET

We met on Tinder.   People are often shocked when I tell them that I met the love of my life on a “hook – up site”, but it’s the truth!  Our first date didn’t go well because every place we wanted to dine at was closed (it was a Sunday).  Hence, we ended up in a dive bar, only to be interrupted by my very obnoxious co-workers that evening (it is a small world).  Uma handled it with immense kindness and I was drawn to him.

MEETING EACH OTHER’S PARENTS

Clara explains, my mom did meet Uma and she loves him!  My entire family adores him as well and he’s very nurturing towards the children in my family which my grandmother fawns over.  Uma’s parents are in India but I have met them via Skype.  Uma told them we were getting married and they don’t speak English.  They had many questions.  It really felt like an interrogation.  They asked me why my parents are divorced and how I would communicate with them?  I wasn’t expecting it so we had to go over to our friend Shilpa’s  house.  She’s a South Indian woman married to a North Indian man and they consider their marriage to be intercultural too, lol.  Their families nearly disowned them for their love marriage, and they gave us amazing advise on how to deal with the parents, and families since Uma’s parents do not approve of us.

 

OUR TOP 3 TIPS FOR INTERRACIAL/INTERCULTURAL DATING:

1.) Communication

Our cultural differences sometimes caused a misunderstanding/misinterpretation that led to an argument.  For example, Uma would say things that I would take very personally when his intent wasn’t malicious at all.  Assuming is the worst in this kind of relationship because the mind can go straight to the negative. We had to learn to tell one another how we are feeling and listen without judgment.

 

2.) Compromise

We learned early on that in order to make this work, we would need to compromise. W here would we choose to live, the US or India?  Would our future children be raised Hindu or Christian or a combination of the two?  Would we have an Indian wedding in his homeland or a western ceremony here?  These are all important questions that needed to be answered. We thought of what’s important to us and now know after endless discussions a way to combine what we both value.

 

3.) Find your own way as a couple

We had to learn to find our own path in our relationship.  We are doing things the way we want to and that’s not going to change. Westerners and Indians will give a lot of advice on how your relationship should be, but it’s really about listening and then deciding for ourselves. We were talking the other night about weddings/marriage and about not even getting married at all. It would be very upsetting to his parents if we told them, but it’s really about us. What do we really want?  Of course we respect and value our elders, but we plan to do things our own way in our own time. So for people who tell us we should already be married, for people who are against us, and say it will never work, we simply nod and keep moving forward.

WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED FROM BEING TOGETHER

We have learned to increase our patience with each other.  We have learned that through all of cultural differences, we are merely two people that love being around each other.  The ability to laugh at each other and ourselves through little irritations is one of the foundations of our relationship.  We have learned that we are evolving, learning, and navigating together through this love.

Thank you Clara and Uma for sharing your captivating love story with our readers!  Did you find your signification other on Tinder or a dating app?  Write us and let us know more about it @growingupgupta@gmail.com.   Have a comment? Write it below! Follow us on Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook @growingupguptas and on Twitter@growingupgupta.

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