Prior to having our biracial (Indian and African-American) daughter, my husband and I had set rules and regulations for how we were going to raise her.   My Husband is Indian and his parents are from Northern India.   I’m African-American and we both grew up in different but strong family structures and cultures.  With that said, there are things in our childhood that we viewed unfavorably, and so we promised ourselves that we would never impose these things on her.


Yet, after having a child that has a love for creating chaos and a disdain for sleep our thoughts quickly evolved.   That’s right, after watching our daughter: enthusiastically rip all the pillows and cushions off the couches, jump up and down on any piece of furniture that would hold her weight, climb onto the stair banister, drop a cup of water onto the floor, and then shyly look back, and say what happy (happened?) we changed.   And, if this isn’t enough excitement for her, she persistently finds a way to:   move the ottoman or any pint size furniture so that she can be in a fingertip’s reach of the TV, get into the cabinets, open lipstick and lip glosses/anything really that doesn’t have a strong cap on it, and yes commence to smear it on the walls.

Thus, all the rules and regulations we created pre-kids have gone out the window.   And we are now finding ourselves, reluctantly, morphing into our parents.  How?  Here are 7 ways:


1.) Pre-kids, you never understood why your parents were always wearing flip flops (chappals in Hindi). You only saw flips flops as a necessity during summer time and heading to the beach.  Post kids, you find yourself wearing flip flops 24/7.  You have them in all colors and they have become your all season and all purpose shoe.   Who knew they were so comfortable and stylish?  They are easy to put on and take off with little to no effort.  You are able to hold your child, run to a doctor’s appointment, grocery store, and take the trash out in them.  I love my flip flops!

2.) Pre-kids, growing up you heard your parents harp on you about your grades in math not being up to par.  So they enrolled you in Kumon and your grades improved.  You promised yourself you would never do that to your kids. Post kids, days after having your child you find yourself not only singing nursery rhymes to them but making up your own 1+1 =2, yay, 2+2=4 yay, 4+4=8 and so and so forth.  You have to start them off early, right?


 3.) Pre-kids, you never understood why your parents would force you to finish every last bite of your food.  You promised yourself you’d  never do this to your kids. Post kids, you see your child throwing food all over the floor, half eating the food, eating a bite and then saying “all done” and, you blurt out “you are not getting up until you eat all this food on this plate.’  Didn’t you just ask me to make this for you?”


4.)  Pre-kids, it seems daily that you heard of the importance of being a doctor, lawyer or engineer. Those were and still are the only occupations of importance to your parents.  You promised yourself your kid can be what ever they want to be.  Post kids, you see the difficult economic times and notice that doctors, lawyers, and engineers are always in demand.  You find yourself buying  your  2 year old a doctor’s outfit for Halloween complete with a stethoscope.  You child loves trying to use the stethoscope on you and you find yourself smiling from cheek to cheek with utter delight.  And of course, calling them Dr. every time they do it.

5.)  Pre-kids, as a child you grew up eating rice and raita (yogurt).  You ate so much rice and raita that you promised yourself your child wouldn’t have to suffer through eating rice and raita. Post kids, because your child hates to sleep you find yourself feeding your child rice and raita daily. Why? It is easy to make, heat up, freeze, and better yet your child loves it! Rice and raita anyone?

6.) Pre-kids, your parents would glare at your direction and you knew not to touch the walls at their home.  As a result, you promised yourself that you would not complain if your child touched the walls of your home.   You even dreamed of making a couple of the walls in your home child-friendly.  Why, inhibit them from letting their imagination soar?  Chalk paint to the rescue!  Post kids, after you get the walls of your home professionally painted or you take on the daunting task of doing it yourself things swiftly change.  Yes, the very second you see your child move towards the wall that has been freshly painted with or without a drawing utensil in hand, you immediately, blurt out, “don’t touch the wall(s)!”

7.) Pre-kids, you hated when your parents gave you natural home remedies when you were sick.  You told yourself you would never do that when you had kids.  That’s right, conventional medication only.  Post kids, the moment conventional medication is not working as quickly as you like, you phone your parents to ask them the name of the herbal medication they gave you as a child.  It always worked like a charm.  I guess they were on to something, huh?

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